It's a funny question when you really get thinking about it. I had to think back to that time, exactly ten years ago.
It began the week before Christmas 2005. I noticed more strands on my brush and mentioned it to my workout buddy at the gym after a workout. She said that it was normal to go through a period when we shed...like a seasonal thing.
I got more concerned a couple of days later when I woke up and as I took the elastic out of my hair, a chunk came out with the elastic. I actually got really scared. And that's basically all I had on my mind that day at work. I was scared to touch my hair.
My boyfriend admitted that he had noticed that my hair was thinner, which made me very upset because I had not noticed myself.
The rest happened in a blink of an eye. I contacted my doctor right after Christmas and he got me a referral with a dermatologist. By the New Year, I had purchased my first wig and I had not one hair on my head!!
The question of how it all started took me back to those first months of waking up and realizing that the whole thing was not just a dream. For a while, my main thing was doing research on finding treatments to help with the regrowth. I was trying products and companies that made promises and guaranteed hair regrowth.
I wore a wig that was identical to my own hair, and styled it as best to my own hair styles. I had a hard time touching my scalp, washing my head, rubbing the bold surface made me cringe.
Without knowing it, I was living proof of the stigma that is attached to the non-attractive look of baldness.
I did not feel attractive, I felt almost ill and weak when I saw my head, and cringed at the sight of my hairless scalp.
I never went to for therapy but now, looking back, should have maybe consulted a therapist to help with the accepting.
I would recommend anyone going through this process to communicate what you are feeling, about not having to care for your own hair, it's a grievance.
Today, ten year later, I no longer think about the possibility of my hair growing back, My eyebrows grow back at intervals, it's a hormone thing. I do now have eyelashes, well, barely, but I miss them dearly too:(
